Killers Don't Cry
by Kelly Greyer
Summary: A younger mutant has been running away from the truth her entire life, away from the chaos she had created and must face the facts: Once a killer, always a killer. Inpired by Broken Hallelujah from strayphoenix


**A/N** Alright Howdy, I haven't posted anything in a while so I though I'd give you guys this one shot. For those of you who aren't familiar with my OC Samantha you should read my profile to get her background info if you want that is, you don't have to read that to understand this story. Um

I'd like to give a shout out to strayphoenix who kinda gave me the idea for this story so thanks for that. Well yeah I think I've went on enough so please please please review and feel free to R&R my other stories, chow. lol

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"Ahhhh!" Samantha yelled as she flung her bag into the wall of her room. With a great thud it hit the wall and sank to the floor, some of the contents spilling out. Samantha's breathing was uneasy as she stood in the room looking for something else to take her anger out on. She grabbed for a chair and swung it with all her might, it hit Kitty's table lamp sending that as well in a mess on the floor.

Samantha was angry, not at someone in particular not at anything in particular but she was angry at the before.

She was angry at what it is she had done, what she was capable of doing.

She was angry that the lies weren't true, that she wasn't this innocent teenager, this sweet beautiful person. What she had been was much more than anyone could ever imagine.

Samantha leaned on the wall as she tried to catch her breath, though only staying there for a second until she clenched her fist and punched the wall. Bringing her arm back she punched it again, and again and again. Her wall and fist now resembled the contents of her mind, a bloody mess.

Everything was a mess, the lamp was a mess, her things were a mess, the room was a mess, _she _was a mess. Samantha no middle nor last name, was a complete wreck and for the first time she truly understood that and truly hated that.

She hated herself and this place that held her so far up she couldn't help but fall.

They raised her up to this unbearable mark that only had room for one foot to remain planted, as the other tried to guide her balance, and where normally she would have loved it, Samantha hated these heights. Because one step and she would free fall downward.

She had taken that step.

"Whoa kid what are you doing?" Logan came through the door along with Jean and Scott and a few other of the students. Concern written across their faces, no not concern, shock no wrong again, fear. Fear was plastered to their facial expressions, and it should have been, Samantha could kill them all.

"Samantha what's wrong, what happened." Jean stepped by Logan and into the room looking at the disaster that had taken the room, Samantha again leaned onto the blood stained wall, her eyes shut tight, her teeth ripping into her bottom lip; killers don't cry.

"Sammy?" Jean placed a gentle and tentative hand on Samantha's shoulder but after a minute, Samantha shrugged it off.

"Get off of me!" Samantha turned around, wiping blood onto her face as she attempted to wipe at her eyes and stop the tears that were clawing at the gate that held them back, but they were starting to build up against it.

"Samantha…" Jean's voice trialed off and Samantha looked away brushing some of the blood from her hands onto the white tight mid-drift that she wore. All Jean could manage was her name, she didn't know what to say, but what could she say? What are you even suppose to say? How do you go about dealing with this situation? Well, you don't deal with it, at least no one ever attempted to. Jean reached out again for Samantha who quickly slapped her hand away and violently pushed her back.

"Don't touch me!" Samantha tried to make her way past the crowd at her door that had begun to grow; they willingly stepped aside except for Logan who grabbed the teen by the arm. "Let me go!" Samantha pulled against his grip.

"What the hells you're problem?" He asked and Samantha looked up at him with this evil glare. Her green eyes burned into his brown ones and she opened her mouth to speak, her voice came out in some what of a low growl.

"Let – me– go."

"I asked you a question." Logan tightened his grip on her arm to a point that would have caused anyone to squirm and beg for him to loosen his grip, Samantha didn't even flinch.

She only continued to stare at him and he caught it. He caught for a second the way the light gleamed on the tears that were building up in her eyes, the eyes that gave him an evil glare but a sad and broken image as well.

Logan let her go and she ripped past him, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and also made his way away from the crowd and back to his room.

"Samantha, Samantha wait." Jean regained her composure and ran after the fleeing teen, chasing her down the hall and down the stairs to the main exit. "Samantha would you slow down." Samantha didn't bother to say anything as she ran for the door.

She reached out and grabbed hold of the handle and turned it, only getting it a few inches open before having it slammed closed again. Samantha pulled on the door as hard as she could but to no avail.

"You can't do this! You can't hold me here!" Samantha yelled, the tears had finally began to fall, she might have been the most afraid of confronting Jean, and now here she is, trapped in a corner with Jean approaching her.

"Not until you talk to me!" Jean walked towards her and Samantha stayed against the door, her body pressed against it and her hand still on the cold handle.

"I don't want to talk to you or anybody, I just want to leave!" Samantha still didn't remove herself from the door.

"Leave, all of you." Jean commanded the students that had stopped and stared at the events that unraveled before them; they hesitated but grabbed their things and hurried out of sight.

"No I don't want to talk to you!" Samantha shut her eyes once again, her knuckles stung and bled more at the grip she had on the door knob.

She wished it was a nightmare, one that she could simply wake up from and realize that it never happened, but she didn't want to wake up to the same ceiling of Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters, she wanted to wake up to an unknown bed in a cold place with no one around her. After all, that was the kind of person that she was.

She wanted nothing more than to not know who she was, well not that she knew anyway, but she wanted to not know who the X-men had made her out to be.

She didn't want to look in the mirror again and see the person that her years before the X-men had made her out to be.

She didn't want to open her eyes and see the people smiling at her and waving.

But she didn't want to close her eyes and see the lifeless faces and dead bodies of the people that died by her hands.

But unfortunately whenever she had had one of her ever so vibrant nightmares, she couldn't seem to just wake up and shake it out of her head.

"Would you just talk to me?!" Jean raised her voice, clearing the students was pointless; they could hear every word that was being said anyway.

"No! No I won't just talk to you! I'm tired of just talking to you! I'm tired of seeing you, I'm tired of seeing Logan, I'm tired of seeing the professor I'm tired of seeing Zach, and Kitty, and Rouge and John and Jamie and everybody!"

"Why, what happened?"

"Just let me out!" Samantha tugged at the door once more.

"Why?!" Jean asked again.

"Because I hate you! You and everybody else! I hate this place, and I hate me! There you happy I said it. You get to say how worthless and pitiful and weak I am, you win."

"Samantha I would never even think that, and you know it." Jean's voice was now softer as she once again came forward.

"I don't fucking care just let the fucking door go!" Samantha yelled turning around to face Jean, revealing the tears to her now.

"Sammy." Jean grabbed Samantha by her shoulders and looked at her. "Just relax Samantha."

"No I won't relax, I can't relax because what I've done is preventing me from relaxing. These things just don't go away."

"We can fix this together."

"Like hell we can! Do you have any clue what I've been going through, any idea of the things that I've done? No you don't because you don't care, none of you do!" Samantha screamed at the top of her lungs at Ororo, Scott, Hank, and The Professor who were all now looking down at the scene from the top of the stairs.

"We all care Samantha." Jean kept her voice soft and calm, hoping it would soothe the outraged teen, but of course it wouldn't because this outraged teen was way past outraged.

She didn't know what she was; she was every bitter emotion that had ever existed, built up for 7 years, and expanded into the hurt and disappointment of what was shown now.

Right now she was every missed Christmas and every forgotten birthday that had ever hung over the shoulder's of the kids that had been forgotten. She was every unanswered prayer, every missed phone call, and every unheard cry of the desperate. She was every nameless kid, every faceless body, and every empty chair at a funeral of every bad luck and alone teenager.

She was the forgotten, she was the desperate, and she was alone.

"Then look." Samantha lowered her voice and let the tears fall from her eyes, Jean only stared at her. "Look!" Samantha grabbed Jean's hands and placed them to her temples. "If you really care and you want to know then read my mind, see what's in there!"

"Samantha…" Jean protested, hurt for the teen in her eyes and voice.

"Do it!" Jean didn't need to read her mind because with that scream she projected every feeling and image in a loud burst of energy into Jean's head. Jean winced at the power of emotions that had suddenly and violently invaded her mind. Grabbing her head Jean backed away and dropped to one knee trying to reduce the pain inside her head and reestablish her shields.

"Exactly." Samantha said as she turned back to the door, Jean had released her telekinetic hold on it and so Samantha ran outside. It was pouring down and the sky was dark, someone told her that it would be sunny.

Samantha took a step forward only to be stopped by a hand grabbing her wrist and pulling her back. "Ahh!" Samantha screamed in frustration turning around to what she already knew was Jean's face.

"Okay Samantha you're right, we don't know but believe me we do care. We all care so much about you and we can't change what happened, okay." Jean took a breath, even though the rain poured down on her, hiding her tears, Samantha knew Jean was crying. "You did go through that I understand it, you were alone when it happened but you don't have to be alone now Samantha. You don't have to turn your back on what you have now because of what happened in the past because I know and you know and everyone else knows that you're not that person anymore."

"People don't change Jean."

"Stop trying to convince yourself that. Stop punishing yourself Samantha just stop it! You don't have to do this and accept this, it's not who you are!"

"I don't know who I am!"

"I know who you are, we all do. You're Samantha and that's all you need to be." Samantha stared at her for a moment, stared at the genuine compassion and hurt in her eyes. This was why Samantha had to get away from Jean, because maybe at some point, deep down inside she did care and understand and truly mean what she was saying.

Jean was the only person who could convince her that it was true. Samantha knew, that everything that she was trying to run from or ignore or forget, Jean would grab it, throw it in her face, make her face it and make her conquer it. Only this time Samantha wasn't so willing to be willing.

"Why won't you just leave me alone!" Samantha erupted with more anger from her thoughts because Jean might be right and so lashed out against her. She gathered all the anger and hate and agony inside of her and delivered a vicious blow to Jean's face splitting her lip; Jean let go of her grip and Samantha split through the rain.

Running out of the gates and down the road Samantha looked back, there was no Jean behind her, she had finally given up.

Tears poured even more from Samantha's eyes as she realized that maybe she ran to see if anybody cared enough to chase her, she looked back over her shoulder once more, nobody did.

Samantha turned and faced the direction of which she came, the rain smashing against her soaking wet body she waited for a few minutes and realized that no one was coming after her.

The only person that she thought gave a damn retreated out of the rain and back into their cozy mansion, Samantha wondered to herself what the hell was wrong with her because this after all was what she wanted.

Or maybe it wasn't what she wanted, maybe she didn't want to be alone again and wanted to know 100% that she didn't have to be and she would never be.

She supposed that now she would be.

Samantha stuffed her hands in her pockets; the rain washed the blood away but not the pain. She continued to walk, crying as she did, down the road as the rain drops tapped on her shoulder, they'd be her friend she thought, but in the morning they were just going to go away. Samantha immediately felt stupid at this thought and all her others before it.

She angrily wiped her eyes and held her head up; killers don't cry she reminded herself.

As Samantha continued to walk she replayed the events that had happened before in her head, trying her hardest to accept it and get over it. "Accept it and get over it…accept it and get over it…accept it and…" Samantha's thoughts were interrupted as she was suddenly tackled to the ground.

Terrified for a moment at could possibly be straddling her, Samantha managed to turn around and saw the bright green eyes of Jean Grey. Samantha stared in shock as she sat up and Jean only stared at her. Samantha moved her attention now to Jean's lip which was still bleeding and was suddenly enveloped in a hug.

Samantha sat confused as to what was going on, her arms hanging at her sides and then she slowly brought them up to Jean's back and returned the gesture. More fully realizing what was going on, she hugged Jean tightly clawing at the back of her soaked shirt desperate for Jean not to let her go and fade away.

Jean pulled Samantha back and placed a kiss on Samantha's forehead leaving only a trace of blood there. She looked into the teens eyes and brought her hands to her face feeling the warm tears that were leaking freely out of her eyes and did not wipe them away but instead, let them pour down her face, Jean smiled at her.

"Killer's don't cry." Jean said softly and Samantha slowly realized what she meant and smiled back at her. Once again Jean brought Samantha into a tight hug and they sat there in the middle of the road as it poured down raining.

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Well I really hope you guys liked it, I was pouring my heart onto a computer screen at 2:00 in the morning. But please review and let me know what you think it would mean a lot to me and after you do review please visit my other stories and review there, and then after that read some of strayphoenix's stories you won't regret any of what I'm asking you to do :) thanks.


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